This is an hysterical breakup letter written by a frustrated girlfriend to her loser boyfriend (she gives many reasons illustrating). All of reasons she lists are wicked funny, but I think my favorites are the Michael Phelps and One Direction bullet points. How about you? Which ones do you think are funniest?
The author of this missive is really very smart and clearly deserves better than this lout?? I read this on Daily Mail. See the link below the photo.
The text reads:
WHY I'M DUMPING YOU
- You think 'Predator 2' was better than the original.
- It's not Cousint, it's cousin.
- You referred to your Cockatoo as your baby.
- The air brushed clothing
- You eat your cereal with water instead of milk. So Gross
- You can name all of the dudes in 1Direction.
- You have one-too-many posters of Michael Phelps in a speedo.
- You used air quotes when you talked about the moon landing.
- "Snow Dogs" is your favorite movie.
- You insist on calling the President Barrack HUSSAIN Obama.
- Must you tell EVERY SINGLE PERSON about that time that you were visited by aliens?!
- You kiss your entire family on the mouth.
- Your Taz tattoo.
- Vegans do not eat bacon, dumbass.
- You wore sweatpants to my grandma's wedding -- and NO it doesn't matter that they were black.
- Your aol email address.
- Two words: Leather Pants.
- Your favorite actor is Kirk Cameron.
- You've used the phrase "Jay Leno said the funniest thing..."
- You told me "put on something sexy, we're going to Red Lobster."
Have a Nice Life!
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